This morning my brain and my body are “electric” with anxiety. No buffering (except I should probably be working instead of writing this lol). I thought a download would help but I’ve dumped the following out and I’m still sitting here with the anxiety. Here’s the thought download (curious if I feel any different once I type this as I wrote it on paper the first time): I am tired of hearing all his judgments about everyone else – whether it’s his sister, me, our son, his “lazy” nephew, everyone. I feels like it’s a constant stream of negativity about how no one does anything right (except him) regardless of how small or big the task may be. He does not ask or say what he really wants and then seethes and gets all stressed out when things don’t go his way or are not done the “right” way. When I try to offer deflective or other ideas/options he gets even more annoyed and judgey.

C: Husband
T: he’s so judgmental
F: anxiety
A: judge him back
R: stress/anxiety

Wow, I feel even MORE anxiety as I’m writing this. What the hell is going on? I’m at work, he’s no where near me and I’m already dreading going home later today. So he gets to behave the way he wants to and I just have to put in earplugs? (that’s my current T).

C: Anxiety
T: WTF, do I really have to just let him be this way and accept it?
F: tightness in chest, sickness in stomach
A: let the anxiety sit here, don’t buffer (how does this make me feel better?)
R: anxiety

BAH. Help, please!