Husband’s cupcake idea


I am frustrated at my husband for what I view as wasting my time. He found a bakery and wanted to check if I would like their cupcakes for our anniversary. In theory, this was thoughtful of him, but it annoys me that he cannot just do something independently. It’s not much of a gift to always ask me to decide. Any feedback on the following models?

C: Husband asks about a new bakery he found.
T: This took 30 minutes of my time when I would have rather been doing something else.
F: Frustrated
A: Stew on it, focus on what I could have done otherwise, swirl around in indecision and people-pleasing (I don’t really want the cupcakes, but I feel like there has been so much sunk cost into researching it now that I might as well have him order them). Go back and forth on whether or not to get the cupcakes.
R: This took even more of my time when I could be doing something else.

Intentional model I could have done.
C: Husband asks about a new bakery he found.
T: Wow, so thoughtful of him to find this and check with me.
F: Grateful
A: Thank him for finding a new local bakery. Tell him how nice of a surprise this would have been, but I’m trying to avoid added sugar. Suggest he get my favorite oranges from the store instead. Reflect on how thoughtful he is as a partner. Reflect on how he plans ahead and cares about my health goals.
R: I positively reinforce thoughtful behavior from my husband in the future.