I was just reading this post and wanted to share a thought that I have had recently about what I used to see as my mother’s suffering. Basically, she has several chronic illnesses that limit what she can do physically and a relationship that has lots of fighting in it, she says she feels isolated a lot of the time and everyone has connections but her etc. Her speaking style is pretty dramatic, lots of ‘I can’t bear it’ s and I just don’t know what to dos. It used to be really difficult for me to talk to her because I wanted her to not be ‘suffering’ but nothing I said or did would help in anyway. Any comments at all from me, even the mildest suggestions of things she could do, would turn the conversation into a fight. So I just listened said nothing. I know that she has done lots of positive psychology in the past so effectively there’s one way of viewing this is that she’s actually choosing to feel this way after being given plenty of other options. This isn’t necessarily the truth, but the idea that she is happy being unhappy means I can listen to her without agitation. I just think this is what she has chosen to think about her situation and that she is happy being unhappy. I have decided to judge this thought not by it’s absolute truth but by it’s outcome which is peaceful conversations with my mother where she feels heard. It’s the same with my teens. I am not them and they are not me and their life is really what they make it. I can only lead by example. Anyway, Brooke thanks for allowing me to choose a better more peaceful thought around this situation, that trying to change was only making worse.