I’m trying to figure out how to handle this situation.
My husband has gotten into the habit of sitting up drinking on the weekend right through the night and through the next day. By the end of it he looks terrible. He eventually passes out and then suffers for the next 2 days.
I get angry with him and judgemental especially when I’m working the weekend and keep coming home to a worse and worse situation.
My strategy has been to try to accept he is an adult and can make the choices he wants to. I decided to create boundaries so that he doesn’t affect my sleep when I’m working. (If he doesn’t come to bed when I go to bed I lock the bedroom door)
And if I’m home for lunch I don’t have to talk to him if he’s drunk.
It was kind of working but then the other day he told me while drunk, that he needs help and he’s an addict and I should be helping him.
He was upset and crying and freaking out. So I researched rehab. Spoke to him about going to a doctor and showed him the stop overdrinking videos.
I was really worried and upset by it but he really didn’t want to talk about it when he was sober so we only managed 2 short conversations and then didn’t mention it again. (It’s the 3rd time he’s told me he’s an alcoholic and needs help in 3 years)
We’ve had 2 weekends since then and he’s gone back to the old pattern.
I have a really demanding job that requires I’m focussed throughout the weekend coming home for an hour here and there and then on call for the night.
The thought that makes me so angry is ‘I shouldn’t have to deal with this ‘
Which causes more distance between us and doesn’t solve the problem.
I’ve been working on more accepting thoughts like he is a human, he’s not perfect and nor am I. And so I’m less angry.
But I don’t know if I should be doing more. Or if I should be bringing it up during the week again with him.
Do I just distance myself and stay in my business and meet my own needs?
(He is a functioning person during the week and doing well at his job despite all this.)
Advice or direction would be greatly appreciated. Xx