I have been dating or married to my husband for over 25 years and our biggest fight are about me wanting him to be united with me our our boundaries. His family walks into my home without knocking, offer advice ( criticism in my view ) openly and expect is to be at all holidays and monthly family parties.

I have tried several times over the years to express my personal boundaries, but I seen as over reacting and mean for wanting more space. I feel that 1. My husband and I need to agree somehow and 2. That it is his job to set these boundaries. He feels that I am trying to keep him from his family and need to use my life coaching tools to not get my feeling hurt. Any help on this? Do these things constitute a boundary violation?