Husband’s health


My husband is morbidly obese at age 50. He has severe arthritis in his knees and hips and his doctors have said they won’t do any surgery on him  unless he loses weight. He is fatigued and tired all the time and it has limited mobility to do anything. He is unable to go on any trips or family outings with us. He has a family history of early death in multiple family members in their 40s and 50s. He has tried programs to lose weight and we even set him up with a bariatric weight loss program. He is not interested in getting the surgery done. He can lose weight for a while but is unable to stick with it. I know I am unable to control him and this is something he will have to do for himself. I just worry that he will not be around for our daughters wedding to walk her down the isle. This makes me sad. I struggle between enabling him and being supportive.

C: husbands obesity and health
T: he will not live to walk our daughter down the isle at her wedding
F: sadness
A: I try not to enable him. I try to be supportive. I hold off on planning big things like house remodel because he might not be around to help pay for them. Hold off refinancing house. Hold off plans for family vacations. I have to spend more time taking care of kids and house because he can’t
R: I am unable to make plans for future in my own life.

My R doesn’t seem to fit. Am I mixing models? Am I just finding more proof of things he won’t be around for in the future?
HELP.