Husband’s Relationship With Daughter

Depressed daughter was home and made several scenes including one outside in front of neighbors. I’ve done models on this and am ok with how I’m showing up to support her and myself. However, my husband, who has through the years been very angry and impulsive himself–breaking my things, calling me curse words including the C word, yelling at me outside–is furious with her. I am having major thoughts of how hypocritical this is and how everything he hates in her is also in him. Whoops–writing that, I’m seeing how I am about to repeat the cycle on my end. Instead, I’d like my intentional thought to be that he is hating some part of himself, a thought that makes me more compassionate. On the heels of that, though, I’m pissed that he most likely has no consciousness of even realizing he does the same. Any bridge thoughts or insight for me? I don’t want to be stuck in the resentment and disdain I’m feeling. Btw, I’m being super calm and mostly feeling calm but struggling when he’s going on and on about how she’s a “piece of s—.”