My husband has been smoking pot for years (its now legal where we live). He also has a history of over drinking and hiding his drinking. I also have a history of drug and alcohol abuse in my own life. I had to flee a relationship with an addict in my early 20s and still have some trauma around that. I overcame my challenges with drugs around 15 years ago and with alcohol about 2 years ago. We have been trying to get pregnant for years and I think his use could be impacting the quality of his sperm. Additionally, the cognitive changes it causes disrupts the flow of our routines, for example he stays awake late at night which also keeps me awake and impacts my health and subsequent cognitive and emotional state. I also believe his use is preventing him from learning how to manage and process his own thoughts and feelings. I do not think it serves him and I believe it is preventing me from living the life I want which is to be a mother with a supportive partner. Long story short, I do not want him to smoke pot. Each time he uses, I feel deeply disappointed, angry and afraid. I am disappointed and angry because he has told me he won’t and then not followed through with his commitment. I am afraid because I believe it means he is an addict. I do not want to have such intense feelings related to something, someone I cannot control. Can you advise on how to express my thoughts and feelings without getting swept up in my own emotional drama? I desperately need some perspective on this situation.