Husband’s words

I’m really having a hard time getting to a neutral spot around my husband’s negative money comments. I know it’s not his comments but my thoughts about them but at the same time I can’t find the thoughts that are causing me the panic (or maybe i did below as I wrote this)

It’s about our finances. He is constantly a Debbie downer. Thinks I’m always in dream mode and in fairytale land. Which maybe isn’t that far from the truth. I just don’t want to believe that any of what he offers but yet I’m constantly worried.

Idk 😐 but anytime I feel like I’m making headway with getting to a neutral spot in thoughts about money I have him to remind me how poor and stupid we are and all the things we need done and can’t do. They are serious things not things we just “want” but i have no money at this time to fix these things nor do i think we could get a loan for these improvements at this time. Exploring that option today.

Can you help me to see what questions I need to ask myself that I’m missing around money?

These are facts and thoughts

I have x amount of dollars
I have x amount of bills = negative dollars
I have home repairs that need attention this year or it could get worse. I have no idea how I’m going to get money to pay for this?

So I suppose this last thought is what is causing my anxiety.

I have an impossible goal to make $100,000 this year aside from what I already make. I’ve made 0 so far. I’m working on believing “it is possible” that I can make this money as a coach.

Where do I need to believe even more? I obviously don’t believe this yet. But yet I have been preparing to make $100,000 this year – everything is as it should be. I will make this happen. It is possible. Do I believe this ? Idk I guess not. I want to say but what if I did. I am determined to show him what is possible but at the same time can’t get out of anxiousness around this.

Anytime my husband has something to say around our finances (usually negative) I don’t want to hear it and then he says how can you just ignore these things like nothing. Which I’m not – I am worried, I just am not talking about it night and day outward because I don’t want to believe that this is the case.

It’s taking me longer than I thought and everything is exactly as it should be but I do want to believe I will climb us out of this rough spot. It’s temporary.