I Deserve It

I’m noticing a pattern and need some help with alternate thoughts to get me to what I really want. Yesterday was a good example of this.

I stepped on the scale and was down another pound. Yay! My husband and I had planned to take a little drive and do some biking in another town. I knew the reward after biking was pizza at a little restaurant my husband grew up with. I planned for pizza, forgot about the ice cream shop. I thought we’d eat closer to noon but got started later than planned and so lunch was at 2:30 PM after a 90 min bike ride. Small squares of thin crust pizza in front of me. I don’t know how many I ate. Underlying all this are the thoughts, “well, I deserve it because my weight was down” and “I just finished a bike ride.” I’m self sabotaging after a few good days with the thoughts, “I deserve it all the time” and “my reward is always food.”

What I want my intentional model to look like is more like this:

C – day out of town biking & having fun
T –
F – confident
A –
R – get to the end of the day & reflect on the fun I had w/my husband; enjoyed & savored a few pieces of the delicious pizza without going overboard but anything else not on my protocol would wait for another day

I think underlying is the thinking that I won’t be able to have this tomorrow because I’m starting over w/the food (diet) so I stuff it all into today.

How can I think about this w/out beating myself up & getting to the result I want?