I did not get a birthdaypresent this year either


Hi,

I don’t know how to get out of the feeling of disappointment, when it comes to my husband not giving me a birthday pressent on my 40th birthday last year, nor on my birthday this year.
I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this and have done models on those, but I can’t seem to shift out of the thinking that he really should give me a present or at least flowers on my birthday.
I always (together with the kids) make sure that he gets presents, nice wine, a nice dinner etc on his birthday.
I realize this is a major “manual” thing and that I just should face it that he obviously does not think it is important. But I do think it is!

Here is one of the unintentional:
C: My husband cooked dinner for me on my birthday but did not give me a present.
T: I can’t believe that he did not give me a present this year either
F: disappointed
A: Try not to “sulk”, beat my self up for caring about such trivial things, keep more quiet than usual
R: I disappoint myself for being so “judgmental”

Intentional (that I can’t figure out, probably because I don’t believe in the R-line)
C: My husband cooked dinner for me on my birthday but did not give me a present.
T:
F:
A:
R: I don’t care about getting presents