I do not know what to do with my disappointment


I feel disappointed in my BFF, sister, and mom. Two years ago, I quit my job to go back for a Master’s degree – something I have wanted to do for 25 years. My husband was on board and we were fine financially. It was a big move for me in that I was finally doing what I wanted to do and not continuing to put my husband and kids’ needs first. I worked very hard for two years and graduated summa cum laude. My BFF did not acknowledge it at all, but I don’t think it’s jealousy since she got a Master’s 25 years ago.

However, my sister and mom both asked to read my thesis, and I sent it asking for what I needed: “If you read it don’t say it’s sh*tty, and if you don’t read it you can still tell me it’s brilliant.” It is long, but I don’t care that they read it; they asked for it! My sister simply wrote “congrats!” and never returned my call or texted to acknowledge it. My mom was more supportive on the phone, but is retired and hasn’t written anything about the thesis (which my classmates and husband said is interesting – it’s on pop culture and women’s rights).

I have been telling myself that I need to celebrate; they can’t make me happy. I have tried to do so, and I do feel proud of myself and my work. When I do models, though, I keep “shoulding” all over them: I shouldn’t need outside validation, I should understand it’s more important to me than to them, I should focus on what I need now and stop worrying about them. My husband thinks I have a right to feel disappointed, so maybe I just have to move through it? I do think this is a pattern with them, though I understand I unintentionally disappoint people around me too. Do I do more models with new bridge IM? Do I accept the disappointment? Help!