I realized yesterday I was upset bc my lead assistant is upset.
She has some issues at home (not sure of what they are) she had a fight with another staff and seems to be upset with me that I have not taken sides.
I have mom issues and look to older female staff for self assurance so when they are upset, I take it personally. I look to them for advice, support, and validation. I realize yesterday at work, I was upset bc she was upset. I mimic my own relationship with my mom.
C: Staff having emotional upset about something
T: It is my responsibility to make them happy/She can’t be upset, then I will be upset/I can’t have a good day if she doesn’t have a good day
F: Anxious/controlled/ disempowered
A: Buy lunch for staff too often, get upset and distracted at work, eat off plan/I have a bad day and do not feel worthy
R: Disconnection from myself further
I need to realize it is okay to want to staff to be happy and supported, but it is not all on me