I wrote those models:

Unintentional
C my husband
T Our relationship isn’t romantic enough
F disappointed
A judge and criticize my husband in my head, ruminate, do my Relationship homework reluctantly, compare our relationship with relationships I had in the past or an ideal relationship (from movies I’ve seen or books I’ve read), seek evidence of my thought, don’t ask questions to my husband, don’t communicate with ease with him, don’t show interest for the person he is
R I prove my thinking right and I get stuck in this endless loop

Intentional
C my husband
T I don’t have to change him
F peace
A listen to him, listen to me, say and do what I want, accept he says and does what he wants
R I don’t suffer anymore, I create space for myself

I don’t want to break up, so if I’m not busy criticizing the relationship, I could be creative to get what I want from a marriage. But my first concern would be to stop the “suffering” for a long time. It seems I can make significant progress, think that I’m very lucky to be with my husband for a week or so, and then come back to my initial loop of deception. Any advice on this? Thank you so much!