I don’t know how much longer I stand my relationship.

I have a 6 year old. And a partner of 10 years. Over the last 6 years, we have had sex 9 times.
I have been thinking positive about it since I joined Scholars in June.
Lately I’ve just cracked and feel really negative about it. It’s hard to keep up this positive thinking about it. Today I got pretty depressed about it and feel like I just can’t do this relationship for much longer. I know that it’s a neutral circumstance, and the coaches tell me that it’s a story that my relationship sucks. But when your pretty and no one wants to touch you, it really feels like it sucks. I feel like I just want to try being depressed about for a while, but I don’t have that luxury because I want to be a good student during Certification. I feel like it is a fact that my relationship sucks. I know our relationships are only as good as our thoughts about them, but I feel like I don’t have the energy anymore to be positive about it. I feel like it’s a mild form of hell. These thoughts come out when I get less than 8 hours of sleep.