I don’t know my C

Hello and thank you for your help. I am realizing (or more so just facing) that I have not been physically available to my close friends for many years. As a kid, my parents worked 12 hours a day 7 days a week and I often was helping them at our restaurant. Thus, from a young age I “missed out” on a lot of social things, but then again not really because I was very active in school, sports and music…it was the time outside of those that I was not around friends. Now that I am in my 30s, thankfully, these friends are still in my life but recently I have lost a very close one as a result of my being absent physically and emotionally (according to her…but there is truth there). This month’s work is hard for me. Here is a model I am trying to work with.

C – ??
T – I am a bad friend
F – uncomfortable (restless, jittery, tight)
A – ruminate about how I haven’t been there for friends, feel tired when I could go see people,
R – ??

Thank you!