I don’t know what the outcome will be … and imagine the worst


My dad will be having heart surgery next week, we were told that because of his age, diabetes, etc, he has a risk of mortality of 30 to 40%.

I don’t know what is going to happen, but my primitive brain keeps thinking the worst. I am “preparing” myself for him dying and suffering ahead of time. I am also extremely worried about my mom and her life without my dad.

I worked on these two models:

C: My dad is having surgery and I don’t know what the outcome will be

UNINTENTIONAL MODEL
T: My dad could die and my mom will be left alone
F: Anguish
A: I keep thinking about the scenarios after he dies, I “prepare” for the worst, I suffer and stay there
R: I am not fully present, don’t function at my best

INTENTIONAL MODEL
T: The HIGHEST probability is that he will survive and live many more years in better health
F: Happiness
A: I consider that possibility, prepare for that one and I only prepare for the upcoming events (his days in the hospital, etc)
R: I am present and I am better support for my parents

The biggest problem is that I am having a very hard time believing and thinking that intentional thought, my brain keeps pulling to the other side of negativity. I am telling my brain that I will allow it to think about a bad outcome but trying to give “equal air time” but somehow I feel it is not working.