I don’t know what to do

Hi, I know I’m not supposed to say I don’t know what to do.  I am assuming ownership of my home and paying my ex a large sum of money.  I’m trying to figure out the legal pieces of this and I’m not sure I’ve got them, nor that I can find an attorney who can advise me quickly enough.  So I’m telling myself I should have done this sooner.  I’m telling myself I hate my spouse.  I’m feeling as if some things are easy, other things are hard.  I am telling myself my husband will exploit any loophole he can.  I feel trapped. I feel scared.