I don’t want to be a victim but I’m EXHAUSTED

I’m having a hard time shaking some thoughts to get to a better feeling place. I’m pretty independent. I’ve always taken pride in that and I attracted a pretty depending husband- A GREAT BALANCE. He is needy and I loved feeling needed. I loved being able to juggle the house, the work, the money, etc. and I still take pride in that to some degree. I’ve been doing it for the past 15+ years.

I now have 3 jobs & continue to manage the home, but I’m at a place where I don’t want to be so independent any more. Or I just want to be able to feel cared for and taken care of for a bit.

I’m tired. I’d like to lean on someone. And I feel like my husband just isn’t that person. I know these are thoughts, but there’s also truth. He does very little. It’s never been a problem. I’m the one who changed the script. I realize my want has changed. I have such a sense of disappointment knowing I’m going to spend the rest of my life with someone who isn’t really giving me what I want…to be the dependent one for a bit, to be able to relax a bit. I’m tired and just want to be taken care of for at least a little. He’s out of work now due to the virus (he hasn’t worked much in the past 12 months) and he hasn’t done much of anything to help around the house, while I continue to work 3 jobs. I can’t help but feel like such a victim typing this. Any thoughts on how to get out of this victim mode but also a better feeling place about my husband?