As a child I was pushed academically. I had to do hours of homework every day and was asked why I didn’t get 100% if I was top of the year with 98%. I didn’t feel good enough and felt like I was a disappointment. I hated being made to work so hard.
My child is not doing well academically, never really has, due to learning difficulties. It becomes a huge fight to get them to do even 10 minutes of homework. I don’t want the stress and angst in our house. I decided my boundary would be I would set up the homework, tell them I am there to help, but then walk away to keep the tension in the house low. Even though I am happy with my decision on this, I realised I would be disappointed in them if they didn’t get this small amount of homework done. I understand this is some patterning due to the way I was raised.
I would love some coaching on this please.
C: Child doesn’t do homework
T: They should do at least this small amount
A: Don’t push them to avoid a fight
R: Continue to do poorly at school
I want to feel okay with my child doing so badly (badly is a fact, the school says they are close to failing the year) but I also want them to have the best chance at life, but it is also not worth the fight which can put me in physical danger.