I failed with my calendar

The problem is that I haven’t worked on my goals in the past 4 weeks. In the beginning of the time period, for the first two weeks, what happened was that I cancelled on myself in my calendar because I didn’t manage my time well at my day job so I ended up working there longer than I had calendared. That meant that the events I scheduled for myself were cancelled.

And then in the past couple of weeks I have’t even scheduled time to work on my business or on my jewellery.

I feel sad, disappointed, frustrated with myself.

Aside from the business and jewelry work, I’ve also cancelled on myself for errands – like emailing back a friend & buying new furniture. UGH! What is my problem.

The other thing that’s bothering me is that I don’t want to schedule just a small amount that I’m confident I’ll complete on my calendar. That’s one of the strategies I was going to employ – let’s only schedule the time I know with 100% certainty I will be able to complete. So for me this week that would be 30 minutes for the business and 30 minutes for the jewelry (with results scheduled in, not actions).

I don’t think doing a small amount will help. It’s not enough. It’s even stupid/silly to schedule that much. What will it do? Nothing.

Certainly the 25 fails for the impossible goal won’t get themselves done. They gotta be scheduled, and it takes a long time on my calendar, and I will just cancel on myself.

I don’t know how to let myself off the hook here. I haven’t done the work I wanted to do, I haven’t gotten the results I had scheduled on my calendar, I’m behind, I’ll never be able to get this business or jewelry idea working if I keep going like this, and I can’t schedule only a small amount because it’s useless anyway. I feel like if I let myself off the hook then neither of my two goals will ever work. I can’t do a small amount because it will take too long.