I feel lost

I don’t even know what I’m really asking for help for here. I feel lost. Everything was going so well with my coaching business and my life and creativity yet I still keep finding reasons to be not enough or unhappy. Now I am in a weird funk where I can’t even market my coaching business and I feel like old addictive behaviors like porn and scrolling are coming back. I’ve felt this way for about two weeks now. I’m starting to think something is wrong with me. Maybe the model works for everyone and only for me “sometimes.”

I’m a bit scared too because I just want to be happy and a productive member of society. When I go into these funks I start to worry that my old self back when I was in high school angry at the world and into drugs is going to come back.

Am I overreacting? I have it so good in my life right now. Why can’t I see it? Why is it so hard for me to just be happy? I feel like as a life coach myself I should be ahead of where I’m at. It’s weird it’s like the more breakthroughs I have the deeper the newer shadows and level of uncomfortable emotions become.

I guess I just want to learn to feel safe and enough in my body no matter what while also enjoying my process and my presence. I don’t even know where to begin in the program anymore as far as workbooks and worksheets go. I’m afraid to ask for help like this because I’ve been so judgmental of people in a “victim” state.

On the bright side, I now have access to so much compassion for people who feel this way everyday.