I feel so disappointed and betrayed


Today I learned that the school has probably canceled the assistant from my eldest son’s class. The class has one child who just can’t keep himself from picking on the other kids. I feel compassion and love for this child, as I know his struggles come from childhood trauma. And yet, the other kids still have a right not to pay the price of his behavior.

I finally succeeded in convincing/forcing the school to add an assistant, with the main responsibility to assist this child with his social skills, last year. They then dropped him once. But brought him back after yet another meeting with me. Now he’s apparently not supposed to be there this year, and I’m so worried for the kids in the class.

My son said yesterday was the worst day in school. As expected, when not constantly supervised by another adult, the troubled child spends most of the recess picking on the other kids. I’m a little lost on how to deal with this. I’ve been “that mom” for 3 years in the school and another two years in pre-school. I know the other parents appreciate it. Even the mom of the kid in question. He has benefitted greatly from having the assistant be a good male role model in his life. He even said “if I start behaving better, they’ll take Kris away from me”. So I was so relieved and satisfied that I had finally found and fought and won a solution that works for everyone. And now… Do I wait and see? Do I just let it go? Do I get on their case right away…? Do I focus all my time and energy on my son and helping him manage his mind? I just feel disappointed, betrayed and lost.

I don’t expect the world to be perfect, but I do think it is my and every other adult’s responsibility to create a safe learning environment for our kids. They have a legal right to not be picked on verbally or physically (Norwegian law), and the school has a legal responsibility to ensure that their rights are not violated.