I feel triggered by one of my network marketing uplines, and I noticed I’m giving him my power with my thoughts


So I am on a network marketing team. I originally joined because I genuinely don’t enjoy having a boss. I was tired of managers. I was tired of someone else telling me what to do. I was tired of always being checked on. I have an upline that I truly love to death for all he’s done for me. He has a heart of gold! Yet I keep noticing on the last day of the month where sales really count for our monthly goals, he’s been reaching out to me telling me what to do. It’s usually stuff I’ve already done because I know what I’m doing. My team is actually quite successful. My entire team feels supported and I never tell them what to do, I just give them an invitation so to speak and let them decide because I would never want someone to manage me when I joined the business.

I’ll be honest. I would rather work on my tree without him. I am at a point where I’ve been doing this for long enough, I understand every aspect of the compensation, and I even know how to train people on income producing activities. I genuinely would just rather he trust me and give me my space.

Here are some of my thoughts (which as I write them I see they are me giving my power to him)

Neutral Circumstance: My upline reached out to me telling me to take certain actions
Thought download:
-All he does is reach out to me when he needs something.
-I thought he was my friend.
-I know what I’m doing.
-He thinks I need him in order to succeed.
-He doesn’t see me as a leader.
-He’s kind of fake.
-He’s not a man of his word (this is in reference to times where he promised me something and never followed through. Happened multiple times).
-I don’t need him or want him to help me.
-I can’t stand unsolicited advice.
-Leave me the hell alone.
-I appreciate you for what you’ve done for me when I started.
-I genuinely don’t need you to tell me what to do.
-Sit back, back off, I got this.

Honestly, when I ask myself “how do I want to feel?” I actually kind of want to be upset. Idk I feel like I avoid my anger a lot and it feels healthy for me to know that I don’t want this. I just don’t want to stay stuck in anger for too long.

Honestly, I would just want him to leave me alone. Let me work my business in a way that feels fun and exciting for me, and to stop reaching out to me at the end of the month.