I was using a knife to make holes on a plastic container for my daughter’s yet another weird project – yes I can see my judgement here. Working on it… (maybe I could try daughter’s original project – lol – just to contrast my question title – does sound more fun). But let’s get back to my original question (pun intended)
C- I cut my finger
T- Daughter made me have a big cut on finger
F- Victimized
A- I really wanted to say – but didn’t “see, you shouldn’t have asked me to cut open this stupid container”. I closed off. Closed eyes, shutting off everyone, including daughter. I tensed up, asked husband to get steristrip and wasn’t giving clear direction. I wasn’t thinking calmly and clearly to assess the wound, to make plans, what is the best way to deal with the wound. Resisting the whole reality (and man, that wound was throbbing a lot while I was resisting)
R- I made myself unempowered. I gave my power away.
C- I cut my finger
T- This is meant to happen
F- Calm
A- Once I said those thoughts a few times in my head, I was able to look at the wound, decided I could treat at home and not needing stitches. Gave my husband better directions to help me, wound dressed nicely, throbbing got better immediately.
R- I could deal with situation better
The “this is meant to happen” has worked a lot. Son touched food processor with raw chicken – this is meant to happen – switched off my racing worried brain that son would get severe campylobacter – calm. Son woke up and I had to stop my morning exercise halfway – this is meant to happen – switched off my argument with reality – and I could show up better as a more present mum.
It is so unoriginal – but it works most of the time. Or the other one is “this is university of life class of 2020” then I would be curious and not a reactive as I have been in the past to anything that “didn’t go my way”.
I would still need to catch the brain first – it would still go to the angry/disappointed/negative feeling mode, then remembered the mantra then changed the model and I get what I really want – peace.
