I feel…


So all growing up and as a teacher I have learned to say and teach my students these phrases to help resolve conflict….

When you I feel…
I feel ______ when you _________ can you please _______
You hurt my feelings because…

Are any of these phrases ok now that I know that other people can’t “hurt my feelings” ?

What do I have my students do when someone says something mean? What language do you use to resolve conflict?

For example with my husband, I was telling him something and his response made me feel upset. I said hey you hurt my feelings when you said that. He said yeah, I didn’t mean it that way and we resolved the miscommunication.

Is this not ok? In this situation I realized I hurt my own feelings by the thought I was thinking about what he said, but now what?

How do you let other people know when they have said something hurtful, mean and rude? I feel like just ignoring those things even while knowing that it is my thinking that causes my feelings is still not ok.

How do I teach/parent?
How do I tell others or resolve conflict as the traditional ways seem to not make sense anymore?

I feel like I am re-writing my whole brain around the language of conflict and need some new sentence starters, examples or more resources!