Big Hello Brooke:

So I have prepared myself to dig deep and make the commitment to lose my weight. I lost 30 lbs since May then really got all wishy washy with myself through the holidays. I joined Scholars this month. Restarted my protocol on January 1 and have been very pleased with myself for the first 11 days. I did the tutor session early in the month and felt armed with solutions to my cravings. I’ve gotten beyond the “Feeling Like ASS” phase! This had made me feel so very confident and empowered to really get this done once and for all. My reasons for wanting to do it are really really good! So there is no reason that I shouldn’t stay committed. Well, then yesterday, it happened. I was out with a group for lunch, I planned to have a salad. I had the salad. I watched a skinny one in the group eat half of her lunch and I decided to eat half of mine. I do the intermittent fasting so I only eat lunch and dinner, no snacks, no sugar, no flour, no processed foods. When I got home at 3pm I was genuinely hungry. And, in my mind I started talking to myself, like I used to do all the time. I said, go ahead and have some cheese and almond crackers as part of your dinner. Before I knew it I was in a binge eating cheese and cashews. And I told myself that this was within my protocol so it was ok. But, it wasn’t!!!!! I didn’t do what I normally do! I didn’t watch the urge and let it go. I had gotten really good at not answering them and thought I had it beat. The cravings and urges were getting less. But then I answered it! Drats and oh hell “Fuck..Fuck..Fuck”! I’ve done so well up to this point just watching the urges come and go without answering. But now I’m worried about it happening again. How do I deal with this and move forward without allowing myself to answer an urge again? I am committed and have my food journaled for the day. I plan on getting right back on my protocol. But I want to learn something from this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.