I gained everything back and more

I went on holiday and gained all my weight back and MORE.

Even BEFORE i went, I only lost around 1.5 pounds in one month and was at a plateau
Now I have gained 10lbs
I feel disgusting
I hate my body
I hate the way I look
I’m ashamed
I feel like I have wasted SO much money because I thought that the course would help me.

I have been working on this for 5 months now- and wondering if this even works.
I don’t have any control over my emotional eating. I feel stressed, and tired all the time and eat for it.

I feel like I’m a failure and I’ll never lose the weight! I’ve become obsessed with it, looking at my step count but not doing any of the work I used to do. I have become obsessed with beating myself up and losing the focus on getting to know myself more.

I don’t trust myself, my body, or me. I can’t even write up a plan anymore because I just keep thinking that it won’t work. The last time when I was strict, ALL I lost was 1.5 lbs in 5 months. How am I going to even do this? It’s not possible.

My brain keeps offering me that maybe I should just not work on my emotional eating and hop on a quick fix, like get a restrictive meal plan or juice cleanse or whatever. A part of me knows that I need to get to the root cause, But I don’t understand how I haven’t made ANY progress in 5 months!