I get easily irritated and always push men away

I’m very tall (6’0) and was subject to some childhood sexual abuse. Over the course of my life I’ve had a lot of issues with intimacy and relationships with men. I’ve learned how to flirt and I try to open up to them, but I still usually end up alone/single.

I always find something wrong with a guy or the ones I like don’t want me back because I’m too intense or something. I feel like being so tall leaves me with such slim pickings anyway but when I do try to talk to a guy I usually end up thinking “he’s not trying enough to be with me” or that he’s too “simple” or something.

The times I did let my walls down I ended up disrespecting my own boundaries and they had taken advantage of me. I know those things are all thoughts that cause me to feel a little hopeless and some despair.

I know that when I feel that way I don’t show up open-hearted or excited to date someone. And the results are that I’m alone. Any help with this is much appreciated.