This situation is frustrating because I guess I see/expect the best in people, and it sets me up for disappointment. Recently a guy from my past came back into my life we hadn’t talked in years and didn’t end on bad terms. He told me how excited he was to talk to me again and we had planned to hang out yesterday on Wednesday. The night before I reached out to him to ask him if he was still down to hangout. He never responded. The next day he completely just didn’t text me and he was posting on his Instagram story so for sure he was on his phone. I’m offended to be honest. I don’t mind being rejected, but it hurts me more when someone isn’t just straight up with me that they need to cancel or just straight up don’t want to hang out with me.
I just don’t understand how someone could be so weak as to not just be straightforward. I’m trying to have compassion and think in terms of his model. Maybe he’s just scared to hurt people with the truth. I’ve been there. But to be honest I’m mad. Part of me wants to reach out and be like “yo be straight up with me why do you have to pretend that shit is so annoying” the other part of me is mad at me for letting him back in and expecting him to be any different. I guess I just see the best in people too much which sounds “noble and kind” but I’m starting to realize it’s not neutral. It’s a positive judgment that makes me set high expectations of people instead of just looking at the facts.
Part of me is sad too .. I was excited to get to know the newer him and me together. I just don’t get why someone has to pretend and say they are excited to see me and their actions don’t show it. I resent him a lot. I also feel like an idiot for not having higher standards for myself. Part of me wants to give him the benefit of the doubt and try again. Part of me also just wants to bypass the icky feelings I feel about being hurt and just “get over it and play the tough guy.”
How should I handle this?