I hate my daughter

I’m struggling with parenting. I have three kids and I like 2 out of three of them. I am finding it challenging to want anything to do with my oldest. She may have some kind of disorder. We haven’t determined exactly the issue. She screams and says things. She says she wants to kill me and my husband. She hits us. She breaks things. She hits her little brothers. She woke us all up last night screaming and said these things again and hit both of us again. She said to my husband! “I’m going to make mommy crazy and make her leave so you don’t have a friend anymore.” My younger son said he wanted to go with me. I regret giving birth to her today. Last night I was looking for places to send her away. This has been going on for a while, it’s been intensifying over the last year as she has been getting stronger and more destructive. I feel like it’s not fair. Like if I lived with a boyfriend who broke things, hit me and threatened to kill me, I could leave or have him arrested, But I can’t legally make my daughter leave or hit her back in self-defense until she’s 18. I’ve been in Scholars for a while, but this circumstance does not feel neutral at all. I definitely don’t want to feel good about having a violent child. I’m feeling stuck about what to do. So far I haven’t found a boarding school for her age group.