I Have A Bad C


I went to the modelthon: It was amazing! I appreciated the afternoons exercise of goal constraint. I came home confident that I could focus all of my energy into one goal of making 100k. When I got back to my city I realized I left my laptop at TSA in Dallas. Ugh!!!. Taxes were also due yesterday and I tried (but failed) to get them done without my computer. (Thankfully it was found and they are shipping it.). Then my husband picks me up and is freaking out bc he thinks my stepson is going to drop out of high school. After modelthon I was able to see his story from an outside perspective. Yet… I still wanted to go unconscious so I drank beers with my sister instead of spending all my time on taxes. Then, today, i woke up realizing all the things I have done to sabotage my own life. It’s like I can see it all now… all the things I add to my plate that don’t line up….I invited the negative emotion in during meditation and burst into 90 seconds of extreme sadness and tears and then I felt lighter. I picked up the sadness again at some point and realized I was just going to accept it. I met my husband tonight and told him of all my experiences. We came home to the sewage being backed up. I almost think it’s funny. Like the cherry on top. Of course, it’s a real issue that we can fix… but my husband is currently freaking out saying “we have no money and now we are homeless bc of this proble. No more positive thinking! No more Brooke! It doesn’t work!!!” For the first time, I didn’t participate in his drama. I saw it as his. Buuuutttttt… it still sucks…. 100%. I just want to escape…. can you help me on how to deal with my sewage and tax C? I know it will be fine in the long run but I want to use this to completely uplevel. I don’t want to sink…. it seems like a lot all at once.. ugh