I have a boundary that I can’t enforce


I’m going to knowingly put a T in my C.

I have a boundary that I don’t want other people to store their stuff in my basement. I can’t enforce it, because I’m my boyfriend’s girlfriend (we’re not married), therefore, I can’t ask his sister and 2 brothers to remove their items from our basement. It’s not my place to do so.

My boyfriend doesn’t think they should remove their items because he doesn’t care if their stuff is down there. This house we live in is the original farm house his grandparents built in the 1950s. They’ve both been dead for 12+ years. The house is on the same address of the farm, so our backyard is essentially the farm, with sheds, tractors and trucks and salespeople and workers coming and going constantly throughout the day. As such, I think everyone views it as like the community storage area (our basement).

I COULD, hypothetically:

• Ask my boyfriend to ask his sister to remove her items. She put the entire contents of her apartment into our basement with our permission in May of 2019 while she moved to Germany for a temporary nanny position. She moved back in November 2019, and she lives in her other brother’s basement of the house they just built. So my point is she hasn’t got her own house or her own apartment, and therefore, hasn’t come to get any of her stuff.
• I COULD ask my boyfriend to ask his one brother to remove his items that he put in our basement (not much stuff, just antique collectible toy tractors and other random small stuff on a table) while he built a house and lived in his camper for a year. His house has been completely built and they literally moved into the house and have been living in it since beginning of december, 2020. So in about a month or so, he will be moved into his house for a whole year and has all that time to come get his stuff. He does know his items are down here. He also knows his old pool table is down there, that he does want to sell/no longer wants, but just hasn’t followed through on actually doing the sale with this guy that is actually interested.
• I could ask my boyfriend to store the farm’s filing cabinets of old documents and few other random miscellaneous farm items in the farm’s shop, or farm’s office, or any of the sheds.

C: People get to store their stuff here
T: I wish they would get their shit out, this is my house.
F: Mad
A’s:
• Wish they would get their shit out of my basement
• Try to get my boyfriend to ask his family to come get their shit
• Consider digitizing and scanning all the farm’s old documents and getting rid of the filing cabinets, so then they wouldn’t take up physical space, but they’d still have their documents
• Judge his sister for being back home from germany for so long and have a manual for her that says she should get her own house to live in and stop living in other people’s houses and storing all her stuff in our house and generally overstaying her welcome in both (the wife of the brother who built the house and the sister’s living in their basement recently told me she wants her to move out of their basement)
• Organize my/our stuff in the basement, SO THAT if/when the fam wanted to come get their stuff out, it is for DAMN SURE ready, nothing’s in the way of getting it out, it can be easily removed. But I don’t tell them that that’s my intention or that’s what I’m doing, I just go down there and do it.
• Don’t say anything to any of the family members. I just stew in resentment/anger/mad.
• Don’t enforce the boundary, like what am I gonna do, put all their shit out in the yard if they don’t come get it in 30 days? Just telling them to come get their stuff isn’t enforcing the boundary, not to mention of course even if I could have a clear boundary here and COULD hypothetically also enforce it. I can’t because “I’m not in a place of love, I can’t enforce a boundary if I’m angry” etc etc etc
R: Their stuff is still in my house.