My teenage daughter is suffering mental health struggles that have gone all the way to suicidal ideation.
She is under treatment and it has come out that a significant trauma that is a possible cause of her struggles is that she found some inappropriate, sexually loaded conversations I had over chat with a stranger on my phone. When she confronted me I denied everything and later scolded her for telling my husband. By now, I have admitted what happened and explained that the person does not mean anything to me. I love her and her dad and I’m not planning at all to leave my family and never did.
I am dealing with a lot of guilt and shame. I worked on these two models. I would like help finding other thoughts to help me overcome this guilt, forgive myself, be present and a better mom for her.
C: I had inappropriate conversations over chat, M saw them, I denied it and scolded her for telling her dad.
Unintentional:
T: My mistakes have caused so much damage, pain and despair
F: Guilt / Shame / at fault
A: I want to hide, I want to just crawl down to a cave, I find more evidence on how I am guilty of everything bad that has happened, I let her treat me bad
R: I am causing myself damage and pain
Intentional:
T: It was never my intention to cause her pain or damage or, I love her so much I would never damage her on purpose
F: Compassionate / non-judgmental
A: I forgive myself, I keep going trying to be a good mother, I accept my life, stop the cycle of suffering
R: I am present for her and the mom that she needs