C wanting to start a coaching business
T “I have no value to offer”
F Worthless, hopeless, depressed
A Rumination, obsessive researching, exercise, planning, discuss my problems to death, hire more therapists and coaches to help me, spin around in my head about what is wrong with me and what I should do, try to find ways to escape my life (not buffering, I just suffer instead), read books about how to fix myself. Basically, I try very very hard to fix myself and my life.
I just really believe that I have no value to offer. I really really feel like I want a coaching business, but I think my reasons are all wrong. I want to help people, but I don’t think I can, because I myself feel like a depressed, anxious, lonely disaster.
I can’t get into a position of ‘service’ because I’m so focused on the graspy neediness of myself.
I feel like a mess, and now I’m 37. I’m already worried about turning 40 – I will be inconsolable and feel like a huge failure if I am still living this live when I’m 40 years old.
I don’t even know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to believe that I have value to offer without feeling like a huge fraud.