‘I have to make everyone happy’


This feels like a silly question but I think it’s connected to a deeper thought I have often so I think for me it’s a good problem to question – I’m wanting to plan something fun for my 40th birthday and am having a difficult time narrowing down options and ideas. In fact, it’s stressing me out and feels overwhelming. I have friends and family and a husband who I have different relationships with. They all have ideas on places to go, things to do and all the ideas sound like they could be fun (but not for all the people). I realize it’s my birthday and I can choose to do something I want, I can choose to pick a trip or a party or whatever it may be and I can choose to invite all or none of these people but I go in circles with not wanting to disappoint anyone. I think my underlying thought is that “I need to make everyone happy”.

C. No birthday plans.
T. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I need to make everyone happy.
F. overwhelm, stress
A. going in circles researching ideas
R. nothing planned, date gets closer

I know logically I don’t have to make everyone happy but I can’t get to the next level thought to make a decision I’ll feel ok with. Maybe there is a better thought to think about this so I can get un-stuck?