I inadvertenly caused a situation at work yesterday to get worse–it was an interpersonal issue between A and B that A told me about (and also mentioned that B talked to C about). I (wrongly) talked to C, who told B, who then got pissed at A…who is now pissed at me and the whole situation. I work with C directly and when I asked if she talked to B, she denied it, but the only reason B would be mad at A is if C told her…so now I know not to trust C.
Writing this all out shows how stupid this all is, but I feel all kinds of negative emotions: guilt, shame, frustration, anger. I know I’m completely in the wrong here, and I’ve put myself in this position before, so I’m also beating myself up because I should have known better. I have been able to separate myself and learn from these recent, raw mistakes, but how do I not let the feeling of shame stop me from moving forward when it creeps back in?
An event like this points to just how much work I still have to do on myself, and I’m struggling to find ways not to make it mean that I’m a bad person with horrible judgement…I started off the day with so much energy and excitement, and I shared too much with the wrong person about it, broached a subject I should have avoided altogether, and then it all blew up in my face in a big dogpile. I feel like I can’t be trusted.
Can you help me find some better thoughts? I’ll give it a shot:
– I’m a human being that makes mistakes, like everyone else.
– I’m learning to handle situations better.
– I made a bad judgement call but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person.
– I trust myself to do the right thing.