I need a thought about death.


First, I just want to say thank you for the opportunity to ask questions and/or work out models here. It’s handy to have in situations like this one I’m in right now!

I was driving to pick up my son from school after a lunch with my mom outside of my city, which meant about 45 minutes on the freeway to get home in time. About 20 minutes away from home, I came upon a serious 2-car + semi-truck accident. It had to have happened within a minute of me reaching it, because I was only about 3 or 4 cars back.

After figuring out what I was going to do about getting my son from school since all lanes were blocked (thank goodness for cell phones!) and being redirected around the accident as first responders arrived, I started to do the what-ifs. What if I had left a minute earlier? What if I was in that totalled car? By the time I got home I was pretty anxious. I did a thought download and realized that though I’m not afraid of death itself, I’m afraid of leaving my kids and of dying with regrets. I want to do an intentional model that will lead to feelings of calm or peacefulness with the idea that something bad COULD happen to me at any point.

The problem is that I feel like every thought I put in the T line is not quite right – either it feels like a platitude (e.g. “every day is a gift”) or stressful, when the feeling I want is calm. I realize that I’m having thoughts about possible intentional thoughts, but it’s all causing more anxiety than being useful.

C – I will die at some point.
T – ??????
F – calm, peaceful
A – go about my day without that anxiety
R – accomplish what I want to have in my life (parenting, work, relationships, etc.) while I am alive

Can you offer some thought ideas? I’ve been having more and more thoughts about death as I’ve gotten older and more people Iknow who are my age with similar life circumstances have died.

Thanks!