I need help answering a question.

I am doing thought work around my 4 year old son’s behavior. I would describe it as very difficult, possibly abnormal (which is scary in and of itself), annoying, loud, confusing, indicative of poor parenting and just plain weird! I realize none of these assessments are facts.

When exploring his behavior I realize it is very hard for me to show up as the mom I want to be because I don’t understand his behavior. I need help answering this question –

Why do I need to understand his behavior to show up in the way I want to show up? I have no problem when the baby is crying and screaming – I can be there with him in his difficult moments and be of service to him. Why is it so hard with the 4 year old? Thanks.