Current result: I’m procrastinating telling a certain customer that I have resigned
Thought behind it: He’s not going to approve
Belief behind it: I need people to approve / like me in order to be happy / okay
My model looked like:
T I’ll feel better if I have approval from this customer
A I continue to seek approval from outside sources
R I continue to constantly seek approval
The next thing I did was decide what I wanted to think about my model. I decided that I wanted to think that “this model is a result of an untrained brain, I’ve been thinking this on autopilot my whole life, so of course it’s what’s showing up on default”.
Then, I wanted to work on a new belief. Goal thought is: The way I feel is totally independent of outside opinion
I did a thought ladder to work up:
I need others to approve of me
I notice I keep thinking that I need others to approve of me to be happy
I need others to approve of me is a sentence in my brain
Maybe it’s not actually truth that I need others to approve of me
I need approval of others is a well practiced thought, but it’s possible it’s not a universal truth
There are some people in the world who seem to not be bothered by the opinions of others
If other people in the world are capable of not needing external approval, it must be at least possible
I’m working on becoming a person who is at last open to believing it’s possible for me to not need the approval of others
I’m so looking forward to believing that it’s possible
I can imagine what it might feel like if it were possible, it feels very free and liberating and light and unconstrained and true.
That’s as far as I can get.
Open to any and all feedback.