I have always had a habit of kleptomania (taking small items of little value).
I know it is wrong, but in the moment I don’t think about it, but I want to stop because of the fear of social consequences of my actions (being marked as an untrusty person, begin socially cast out)
The stupid thing is that I can more than easily afford to buy the things myself.
I have a hard time describing the feelings and thoughts, but if I should put thoughts to why I do it, the thought could be “I don’t feel rich” or “no one will know” or “I think the item looks pretty” or “the item is useful”.
I am kind of a hoarder (which I’m working on by cleaning up my emotional life and the items that I process)
I probably hoard for the same reasons as I exercise kleptomania.
When I plan to take something, I make it so that I will not be caught, but I am not able to put a feeling or thought on this.
I have told myself the past month that “this is not the person I want to be” and it has helped.
But I am unable to pinpoint the thought or feeling that makes me plan in the first place.