I recognize I’m arguing with the past but…


5 years ago I divorced my first husband and father of my 2 kids because I blamed him for “lack of intimacy” in our marriage. I’ve been remarried to my second husband for 3 1/2 years and at first we had a ton of sex but now I have no interest in intimacy anymore. Looking back at my first marriage I now can take responsibility for my part in the circumstances of that marriage. This feels like a punch in the gut. Right now I’m having thoughts like, “I should have just stayed” and “I would be better off if I’d just stayed.” I got along much better with my first husband, we agreed on most things. We were super financially secure. My second husband is not good at managing money and we disagree a lot. I want my old life back and am resisting focusing on the present/future.