I sabotage when people are really excited about me


This is a pattern I’ve noticed – mainly in dating or business – when someone is really excited about dating / working with me, I pretty much sabotage.

I’m relating it to past experiences where I’ve been really excited about something then was let down (i.e. the result was not what I expected.. all thoughts 🙂 and it felt awful.) Basically, the higher the expectation, the steeper / more painful the fall

UM:
C: New client said “I’m so excited to work with you – this will be amazing” 3 times
T: wow, she’s going to be disappointed if it doesn’t turn out as amazing as she thinks it will
F: scared
a: ruminate, not put my best effort into working with her, numb/withdraw
r: not show up at my best and she’ll be disappointed at the results

IM:
C: same
T: all I can do is show up at my best. Her experience is hers
F: empowered
A: show up with love and attention, be the amazing consultant I know I can be
r: show up at my best

The intentional model feels really good but I’m afraid that it’s just a fleeting feeling. How do I create a way to REALLY make this model a reality?