I shouldn’t yell

I have this thought, that’s also present in my mothering manual, that I shouldn’t yell

C- I raise my voice to my kids with a feeling of anger
T-I shouldn’t yell
A-tell myself I’m a bad mom, think I’m ruining my kids, tell myself my kids will hate me, spin with ways to get myself to stop yelling, act out my guilt by yelling again
R-I’m yelling at myself and disconnected from being the mom I want to be

Can you please help me process this model? Thank you!