I think my friend is upset with me.

I have a friend who is also a co-worker. We both work from home and see each other in person every few weeks to hang out and catch up. Last week she asked me if I wanted to join her for a trip (about an hour away) out to visit her friend who lives on 35 acres near a river this Friday ~tomorrow. Sounds wonderful! However, I do not want to ride with her because my schedule has been insanely busy so I only have a few hours to commit to this trip. I was planning on following her out in my car and then leaving mid-afternoon.

She sent me a text this morning and asked if leaving from my house at 9:30 was ok. I told her I need to leave a little later and can just drive out without following her by using GPS.

I sent her that text almost 5 hours ago and she has not responded. Normally she is quick to respond. I feel like she is upset with me. This past week has been horrible for me in many ways and I am completely burnt out. I have to work all weekend and am not getting enough time to rest and recover from the challenging week I’ve had. I don’t want her to feel bad and I don’t want to feel bad. I want her to understand and let me come when I want to and leave when I want to.

C: Day trip to the river with friend
T: She is angry I am not spending the whole day with her
F: Exhausted
A: Check my phone for messages, spin in my thoughts, feel bad I am letting her down, feel tired of caring more about other’s feelings than my own.
R: I am wasting the time I DO have off worrying about things I can’t control

Lately, I feel like people are mad at me for things like this a lot. It’s exhausting. It makes me not want to plan to do anything like this because I am not given the freedom to choose what is right for me.

I can’t find an intentional model. 🙁