I want romantic relationship but keep pushing men away


Seven years after being divorced from my husband I am now ready to be in another relationship, since initially after the split I did not want to become involved with anyone. However, recently I have noticed that men that I am interested in, or who have gently expressed an interest in me, I scoff at the idea and push them away. I find myself judging them and thinking “oh I couldn’t get involved with him, he’s too…” and then I find a reason, whether he’s too young, or doesn’t make enough money, or is too old or whatever. And this is happening after I did the thought work of my brain telling me that there were no men around for me to have a relationship with. Sigh. I would have light and fun banter with these men and then they would say something like “oh we should go out for a drink” or “oh we keep running into each other maybe this means something” and I would laugh it off and dismiss the idea. I tried doing a model to figure out why am I pushing men away who are interested in me, when what I really want is to be in a relationship. Why do I keep judging them ? I tried online dating sites and ended up doing the same thing. I am not sure how to make this model and would like some help.

C – Push away men interested in me
T – They don’t earn enough money/are too young for me/too old for me
F – Cannot allow myself to fall for them/him
A – Maintain a distant and closed off posture
R – Stay single and unattached.