I want to change my circumstances! :D


I am struggling to hold onto a good thinking thought because my thoughts keep changing based on the circumstance.

I pay more in rent and bills than I am currently receiving in income. I shut down my Airbnb because of a warning from the city and have been trying to find roommates for months. I started driving for Lyft because it was easy to sign up for, but the virus has pretty much ruined that income source. Now I drive for Postmates and still have a cleaning client on the side. This is best paying, but my client keeps fluctuating and I’m having trouble believing the thought that all of my expenses will be paid. When I think she will need me 5 days a week, I feel okay. I know that that amount will pay for my rent and utilities and more and I feel like I can relax a little and focus on my life coaching business and youtube (which is really how I want to be spending my time- making this an income source). But then she ends up only needing me 3 days a week which doesn’t cover everything.

Thinking about potentially moving makes me so stressed out that I buffer and worry all day, so I instead try to think and focus on all the ways I can pay my rent, but this thought also stresses me out because I don’t like the idea of working that hard just to pay something that before was taken care of by having guests/roommates. I don’t like the thought “I’ll do whatever it takes to stay here” because it’s not true, but I don’t like the thought “I’ll move if I have to” because the thought of moving right now is overwhelming to me. I planned to stay here until at least August and have no idea where to go.

I know there’s about 50 different thoughts in here that need coaching, but I have not been able to shut off this anxiety. And I know it’s okay to feel anxious, but I find it distracting which is why I keep trying to change my circumstances because I think that those will trigger thoughts of peace of mind. Although I am aware that what’s really stressing me is my thoughts every time the circumstance changes. I’m just struggling to find a consistent thought.