I want to make a large investment on a Kangen water machine, but I’m scared.

I am currently in a space in my life where I am self employed, yet I don’t think I have really cracked the code to consistently making a bit more money every month as a life coach and network marketer for a super food company. When I ask myself, “why haven’t I bought this kangen water machine that I know I really want yet?” My thought download is as follows:

I am scared to have another monthly payment.
I don’t think I’ll make more money this month (this thought comes up every month and I always make some money).
I don’t trust myself to make more money.
What if I fail at making enough!?!?!
I might have to get a job as well.
This is uncomfortable.
This isn’t a wise financial decision.

When I ask myself why I want the machine:

It will revolutionize my health.
I’ll have insane new levels of energy on top of the abundant energy I already have.
It will change my life.
I will be surrounded by another community of people that will see me for my higher self and possibility rather than self-doubt.
I will have access to another organization that will provide free resources and coaching along with the machine.
I will decalcify my pineal gland/third eye.
It will help me heal my body faster from knee surgery.
It can change my family’s life if I invest in this for us.
I absolutely know it will be good for me.

I just want to make a decision and trust myself. I really WANT to buy it and take the risk, but I am really scared of how much money it is and if I’ll have a money breakthrough in my business. What should I do?