I was so sad. And took me a while to acknowledge the sadness. My colleague’s daughter is very likely going to miscarry. And then, just got a note from the hospital that one of my patients went to have medical termination at 22 weeks for spinal cord abnormality, and the baby was showing some signs of life for a while after being born, so it is classified as neonatal death rather than termination. I notice the depression. I am in a black heavy place. And I could do nothing to get out. Just feeling so low. But saying “I’m depressed and it’s ok” actually made it doable. I was doing my job and saying I am depressed and it’s ok. And after a few hours it is actually not gripping me so much. I am a lot lighter now. I still have the thoughts of the neonatal death but it just seems like background radio.

Is that processing? I am in a dark, heavy place…

Or is that allowing?

Thank you.