I’d really appreciate some help xoxox

Hello!! I’m 9 months into the course and starting to feel like the course is not helping me as much as it did first months. I am doing the daily homework, listening to all calls. Not sure if it’s just this month’s topic… but regardless I think adding several models a day to work on my thinking will help. I have so many thoughts about my current C that it’s hard for me to know how many models are enough to support me, and then I feel overwhelmed – as if I need to do models on 8-10 thoughts, and I don’t have that much time!! My husband’s job is changing and we are not as confident as we were in the past that he will receive a yearly bonus. I do all the bills etc, my husband is not involved in that. I have the thought that if he does not get his bonus we are in trouble as we spend more than he earns. So I think if he doesn’t get a bonus we are doomed. Then many many other thoughts follow on that thought’s shirttails: “I have applied to 4 jobs, been on one interview and reached out to 10 plus people and I have no viable leads so that means I cannot help.” “I can’t find a way to contribute more money to our household” “I am worried that we may be in a bad spot this next year and we have both been been too complacent” “I have been giving this search my all and I don’t know what else to do” “I won’t give up, but I’m at a loss for what other action to take” “I feel like extra weight in this family” “Why did I get a MA degree and it’s this hard to find a job” “I wish someone would help me”. “I don’t know what to do ” “How will I ever help my kids choose a viable career if I can’t even get a job and I went to 7 years of university” “Doesn’t anyone see what I have to offer” “I’m no good at showing my value” “Maybe people just don’t see my value” “What if we can’t provide for our kids” “I feel ashamed and lacking value”.
When all those thoughts stream through my head in 2-3 minutes how can I best chose which to model and how to best get to work?? Thank you thank you thank you! xoxo Laura